When I decided to start this blog, I thought that I would be super good and write weekly...PSYCH! That hasn't happened...and I'm okay with that. But for some reason, I can't sleep and I was like, oh here's another time to blab...so here I go.
At BYU, I interned with a group called the Women's Services and Resources (WSR) office (check out their blog to your right...WSR...it's fantastic). I loved this experience because I was able to see how wonderful and great women and men are!! It kills me when people beat themselves up. Growing up, I had a lot of friends who would just rip themselves apart because they didn't like themselves for one reason or another. Some would starve themselves or throw up because they wanted to be thin, others would think that there was no purpose to their lives and tried to end their lives, others would throw away their virtue and honor by thinking that the only way to prove their love to their significant others was through engaging in immoral acts. Do I blame them for having these feelings? Definitely not. The world is a crazy place, with so many confusing messages about self-worth, body image, etc. that these feelings are valid. Satan is real and es un PUERCO!! My mission companion would always tell me this and I LOVED it! Satan is a PIG! He will do EVERYTHING to rip someone apart! I think the greatest attack that he has on people is by influencing them to forget who they are, which are divine Children of God.
I believe that we lived before this life as spiritual sons and daughters of our Heavenly Parents. For more information about this: click here. It's true. No doubt about it!
So I have to ask myself daily: How am I or what am I doing that helps me forget who I am?
1) Negative self-talk and thinking: This is hard for me. Why? Because I am a perfectionist. Correction: I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist because I believe that I am a lot better than I used to be and that I can get a lot better...haha. It's true. So often when people compliment me, I think of at least 10 reasons why that compliment isn't true or how I can improve. Why? I'm human. Get over it. :) Haha...so this is definitely one way that I forget who I am.
My remedy: When I look in the mirror, I try to laugh. Laughter is the best medicine because it makes us get over ourselves and stop thinking about ourselves and I just have to laugh because, unlike the adversary, at least I have a body. Beat that. :)
2) Yes-woman: I am the QUEEN of saying "YES." It's really hard for me to say no. Especially if people call me, "Emmy," or "Em" or flatter me in any way...tempting me with rolls and jam (not chocolate...I love bread)...or just laying on a thick slab of guilt on my conscience. Being a yes-woman is not what it is all cracked up to be. For the most part, I love saying yes to things, because I love to help! But there are times when I say, "yes" when I really should say, "no." This makes me forget who I am: an imperfect person that can't be superwoman and do EVERYTHING! How grateful I am for that.
My remedy: I live by my planner. If it's not written down, I won't do it...so I try to schedule my time well and just say, "No" sometimes. It's quite liberating. Try it. :)
3) Thinking I'm the exception: Is this a way that Satan uses to help people forget who they are? DING DING DING!! :) Are there ever times when you think that something doesn't apply to you because you are "different" or you have a different "situation"? I have used this excuse many times in my life and I don't do all the things that I could be doing to be better. I'm a TON better than I used to be...but still there is a ton of room for improvement! :) This frustrates me to no end when people think that they are an exception to prophets' counsel, guidance and direction. Wake up! Satan wants us to feel alone, that we are the only ones that are going through a certain experience, trial, heartache, stress, all of the above. When in reality...we are NOT alone.
The Savior's Atonement covers all infirmities, sicknesses, pains, FEARS and heartaches. When we feel alone, we can know with a surety that at least one person, Jesus Christ, knows how we feel.
My remedy: I have found in my own life, that when I feel that I am an exception, it is because I am scared out of my mind to live up to my responsibilities. One issue that I have talked with many of my LDS friends (men AND women) about is: the fear of getting married. How many times do LDS young single adults joke about this and yet, why do they? Because they are, for the most part, ALWAYS thinking about it, at least once a week, maybe twice? Don't lie. You've done it. :) There's always an excuse to feel like an exception: Men that won't commit because of other important things like school, career, lack of money, travel, fear of heartache, etc. Women that won't commit because of school, career, lack of money, travel, fear of heartache, etc. I for one, will admit that I am terrified of making the wrong choice in an eternal companion and when those moments come up, which come up often, I try my hardest to pray hard, work hard and suck it up. :) Satan wants us to feel fear. After Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, what did they feel? FEAR. The Lord ALWAYS provides a way to obey His commandments. In His timing, in His way. I know of SO many good and righteous people who strive daily to live the commandments, especially this one and don't receive this blessing quite yet. Why? I honestly don't know. But what I do know, is that the Lord will bless us and that He will provide for us. But we cannot progress if we don't work and give our all to obey His commandments.
How grateful I am to not be perfect. I wouldn't want to be. How boring. I am grateful that I am a spaz who talks too much, laughs too loud, has childbearing hips and has the tendency to want to save the world. I love my imperfections and I am proud to say that they make me who I am. I am grateful for the many times that my heart has been broken by loved ones, ex-boyfriends, friends, family members and the times when my eyes couldn't dry because of my endless tears and sobs. It isn't until we are broken that we can be made whole.
Once again, I am blabbing and on a soapbox...but to my good friends who read this blog, you're used to it by now. :) I love the Lord. He is SO good to me. It is through my understanding of Him and learning of His divinity that I learn of my divinity as a literal daughter of God. How grateful I am for this opportunity to be here on the earth.I am blessed.
Have a good night! I think I can go to bed now. :) Til next time, remember who you are and who you can become! :)
